


Castle of Glass

by wattpads_songbird



Series: Badass Cinnamon Roll Angel Cake (2015) [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 7.02, 7x02, Canon verse, Episode: s07e02 Hello Cruel World, Hello Cruel World, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4399568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wattpads_songbird/pseuds/wattpads_songbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel makes a very important decision in those final moments at the bottom of the river.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castle of Glass

**Author's Note:**

> A Tumblr movement to appreciate everyone's favorite "badass cinnamon roll angel cake".
> 
>  

July 12 | Cas Appreciation Week | Song or Quote | Castle of Glass by: Linkin Park

_Take me down to the river bend / Take me down to the fighting end / Wash the poison from off my skin / Show me how to be whole again._

The leviathans burned Castiel’s grace. As he tried to fight back against their hold on his vessel, they reared their ugly heads and snapped. Claws and teeth laced with black poison attacked Castiel back into submission. Their poison set on making his grace as black as his wings, which were long ago tainted by hell’s fires. Veins of black stretched like gnarled fingers across his grace, burning as they went.

Castiel was desperately trying to stop the poison from spreading. In his efforts, he barely felt the cold river water lapping at his vessel’s ankles. 

_Fly me up on a silver wing / Past the black where the sirens sing / Warm me up in a nova's glow / And drop me down to the dream below._

The poison was drowning Castiel from his inside out. His wings were becoming bogged down with the deadly liquid, turning them darker than they already were. In a fleeting moment, Castiel wished he was as he used to be. His wings they way they used to be. Silver, glinting off the light of the galaxies as he watched over humanity. He’d be free of doubt. He’d believe that there was a plan yet again. He wouldn’t have sided with a demon. Promises holding something other than emptiness.

A deep shiver ran down Castiel’s spine as he now realized the freezing river’s waters were to his vessel’s waist. He tried to think of warmth. He thought of U Scorpii, the recurrent nova system in the Milky Way. This also happened to be Castiel’s favorite. He didn’t quite know why it was his favorite. Perhaps it was because it was located so close to the constellation Scorpius, or maybe there was no reason at all. 

Castiel focused on the white dwarfs. Their crumbling, burning, warmth that would envelop him as he would watch their brilliant light expand before falling dark. He wondered if this was his nova. Was this the last thing he would do before falling dark, before he was dropped into the dream where angels went? Castiel squeezed his eyes shut as he realized he wasn’t worthy of such an afterlife with his brothers and sisters. 

_‘Cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass / Hardly anything there for you to see / For you to see_

Castiel felt himself being pulled apart. He knew he didn’t have much longer. His feathers were beginning to fall off. His grace was flickering, but in an instant, it was suddenly brighter. His vessel was completely emerged in the water. Castiel used the last of his strength to look up. Through the ripples of the water he could see Dean. His grace lurched and twisted within him. In that instant, Castiel knew he couldn’t just leave Dean. It was completely and utterly selfish, but Castiel couldn’t leave his charge. Dean was his reason. Somewhere down the line, he thought he’d forgotten that. Maybe a little piece of him could stay with Dean, though Castiel didn’t think he deserved to stay with him. He was nothing. He was broken down grace and molted feathers. A crack in the delicate world his father had created. 

In one last valiant effort, Castiel pushed against the leviathans, realizing he had nothing to lose. He gained control of his vessel. It was barely operational, already degraded by the leviathans so much, but Castiel didn’t need his vessel for this. He needed his coat. Castiel fought against the waters and the leviathans as he shimmied out of it. Gripping the fabric one last time, Castiel willing gave up his grace. He agonizingly pulled the last pure bit out of his core and laced it along the fibers of the coat. Just as the oak tree was Anna’s, this coat would be Castiel’s place for his grace. He was fallen. He wasn’t anything but a blemish. 

_‘Cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass / Hardly anything else I need to be_

He didn’t feel anything. He was floating. Something suddenly gripped him.

A voice unlike anything else filled his body. “Oh, you don’t understand. Do you realize what you have just done?” The voice wasn’t angry, but the words were instead laced with understanding. 

He tried to respond, but found himself unable to. He couldn’t remember anything.

A rumbling that could be either laughter or thunder vibrated through him. “You stored that last bit of grace in your coat. It washed up and is in good hands. I’m afraid it isn’t enough to restore your memories, but it will get you on your feet once more. You shall call yourself...Emmanuel. Do not fear, child, your charge will find you soon enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://magnificat-cas.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [Tag](https://www.tumblr.com/search/casappreciationweek)
> 
>  
> 
> Based off of this song [[x]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-He6EzP5zY)


End file.
